


Day 5- Insomnia

by Broken_Clover



Series: 12 Days of Whump [5]
Category: BlazBlue
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Body Horror, F/M, Sleep Deprivation, Sleepy Cuddles, Sleepy Kisses
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-18
Updated: 2018-12-18
Packaged: 2019-09-21 17:14:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17047277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Broken_Clover/pseuds/Broken_Clover
Summary: Every time he tries to sleep, the nightmares come. Roy's solution? Don't sleep.





	Day 5- Insomnia

**Author's Note:**

> Howdy, everyone! Posting this first and foremost on AO3, because tumblr is a prick and I wasn't gonna go on at all today.
> 
> Hope you enjoy, Melon! Have some slight angst and fluffy Roylitchi. It was fun to try and capture the feeling of tiredness in words. How'd I do?

Fat flakes of fluffy white snow drifted down over the district of Orient Town. They’d already covered the ground and dusted the rooftops, seemingly with no sign of stopping anytime soon. Ice-cold breezes accompanied the almost-snowstorm, slapping at buildings and threatening to seep inside. Despite the below-freezing weather and bone-chilling wind, the window of the town’s clinic was propped open, letting in all the coldness that every other building in town was doing their best to keep out.

Roy stared out the open window, slumped over in a chair that had been dragged over. He shivered slightly as he took in another breath of chilly air. There were plenty of blankets scattered around the guest room for him to bundle up with, but they were all left on the bed or in the closet. Making himself comfortable in any way, shape, or form was the last thing he wanted at the moment.

For the life of him, it seemed impossible for him to get a proper night’s sleep. Part of him wondered if the month or so he spent completely catatonic had interfered, but it had been a good amount of time since he’d moved into Litchi’s clinic, still without a single full night of sleep to his name.

Over time, the lack of sleep had been catching up. But even when he did fall asleep, he could never manage more than a very short amount. Every time he nodded off, Roy found himself trapped in another nightmare, in a place of far-too-familiar sensations and sights and dark thoughts running rampant through his mind that he always awoke in a panic soon after.

Despite how often he tended to scream or panic when he snapped awake, Litchi hadn’t managed to fully figure him out. He could tell that she was catching on to his diminished sleeping schedule and how sleepy he could get during the day, which he always half-assedly lied as being caused by low stamina, or that he was still ‘adjusting’ to things. 

He propped himself up against the windowsill, chin in his hands. Another cold breeze blew by, making him shiver again and let out a puff of air that fogged against his glasses. Though the weather was good for keeping him up at first, it had been getting more unhelpful as it went on. It sapped away the little energy that he’d started with. 

“Hn-nhh- !” Roy jolted back up as he felt his shoulders slumping. His eyes zipped around the landscape, though they didn’t focus on anything in particular. He had to stay awake. He couldn’t let himself drift off…

Litchi had done so much for him already. How could he tell her about this? She had her own problems to worry about. He could deal with something like this. He was an adult, why was he getting all worn out like a kid? He could deal with this just fine.

“Mmm...h-ha!” In his distraction, he’d let his eyes close for too long again. Roy gave himself a little slap, trying to force himself back to full consciousness. All it did was make the impulsive part of him whine in dismay at being denied sleep once again. His traitorous mind conjured up the images of cozy woolen blankets, soft pajamas, a cocoon of warm comfort…

He let out a groan, letting his head thunk against the hard wooden windowsill. Why was this so hard? Did the universe hate him or something? It was impossible to get a good night’s sleep, and impossible for him to forever resist the pull of unconsciousness.

Roy felt a yawn force its way out of him, and he ran a hand through his messed-up hair. He could already see the absolute state of disarray he was in. He looked pale and sickly enough on a regular basis, the lack of sleep definitely wasn’t going to help that at all. Nor would the dark circles, which he had noticed were growing more and more prominent with every passing day. It was a good thing that he hadn’t strayed too far away from the clinic yet, he was sure he would be attracting stares.

For a moment, he entertained the thought of making a pot of coffee to keep him awake. A long-empty tumbler sat on the desk by his side. That required some amount of effort, though, effort which required energy that he no longer had. Making coffee meant that he had to refill the coffee machine, 

which meant that he had to find the grounds again, 

which meant that he needed to go downstairs and look, 

which meant that he needed to get up out of the chair.

“Hnnn…” Roy rubbed at his eyes again. “Stay awake. Just...stay awake. Focus on the snow…”

Tired eyes chased after the falling flakes. Despite his best efforts, Roy found himself leaning against the windowsill, letting his head rest on crossed arms. The wood felt chilly against his skin, but he couldn’t bring himself to care.

++++++

_”No, no, no, damn it all- This can’t be happening! T-this wasn’t what I-”_

That can’t be his body. That can’t be his voice. He isn’t controlling them.

_”J-just a few more calculations, I must have messed up so- somewhere, I can fix this!”_

The world around him is a lurid mess. He can hear the ominous whispering slipping into his ears. They want to drag him deeper, to sink their claws into his body and drag him down to a place where he’ll never be found again. He _can’t_ die, he still has to tell Litchi-

He reached towards the distant light, growing smaller and smaller every passing second. The flesh and skin begins to blacken and liquefy, dripping off of him with a tarlike stickiness. The bones underneath are yellowed and warped, threatening to snap with the slightest pressure.

_”LET ME OUT!”_ He screams, with nobody to listen but the monsters below. _”SOMEONE! PLEASE, SOMEONE LET ME OUT!”_

When he tried to draw another breath, all he could manage to do was sputter and choke. His own lungs were liquefying from the inside, collapsing into piles of mush.

His face melts along with all the rest. The only thing he can find is a piece of white metal. The noise it makes as it pressed against the remains of his skin makes him vomit, but the only thing that comes up is more black sludge.

The hands have closed in. Sharp claws somehow manage to grip onto his liquid body, pulling him down deeper and deeper into the depths.

He has no mouth anymore, no stomach. But he can feel something desperate and gnawing inside of him. Something is starving, begging to be filled. The voices are leaching into his brain, eating the last shreds of sanity and filling it with more desire, and more hunger.

_”Azure, Azure, Azure, **AZURE AZURE AZURE AZUREAZUREAZURE-”**_

++++++

“AAAAAAAGH!!”

Roy sat curled up in a chair by the windowsill, shivering in terror. The unpleasant dream was still too fresh in his mind for him to think about anything else, like the harsh sobs escaping his throat, and the untrimmed nails digging into his skin as he clutched himself tighter into a ball.

The door behind him slammed open. “Roy?!”

A hand pressed against his back. He recognized the touch and scent immediately. “L-Litchi?”

“Shh, it’s alright…” Her other hand moved to grip his, and he realized that he’d been cutting into the fabric of his shirtsleeves. “Everything is alright. You’re okay. Nobody is here but the two of us. You’re going to be just fine.”

It took a few few minutes for Roy to calm down. When he was finally able to loosen his panic-stiffened muscles, he found Litchi looking at him with a heartbroken expression on her face.

“So you have been having nightmares...Roy, why didn’t you tell me?”

Normally, he would have tried to downplay it- but after so long, he was too tired to try and make excuses.

“You’ve already done so much for me, Litchi. You practically brought brought me back from the dead! I thought, maybe for once I could deal with my own problems instead of making you save me again.”

Litchi sighed, taking his hand and squeezing it. “It’s _okay_ , Roy. It’s okay to ask for help. I understand why you’d be afraid to, but I want to make sure you’re doing alright. I don’t want you to feel like you’re all alone. We can look after each other.”

He offered a bitter laugh. “And what have I done for you?”

“Just having you here, knowing that you’re okay...that’s done more for me than you’d ever imagine.”

When Litchi moved in for a kiss, he didn’t stop her. Roy couldn’t remember if they had kissed before the disaster, but this was something he was definitely going to remember. With how long he had been at the window, her lips were infinitely more warm, soft, and inviting. So were her arms, when they wrapped around his scrawny body. The world was cold, but Litchi was warm. So very, very warm.

“You’re freezing, Roy.” With a strength he didn’t even know she had, Litchi picked him right up and held him close to her chest. In any other circumstance, it may have been embarrassing, but at the moment, he was more than happy to let himself be carried. 

“Aww. Sleepyhead…”

After pushing off sleep for so long, it felt nice to finally let go and stop fighting it. Litchi carried him out of the guest room and into hers. The bed was already cozy and warm when she placed him down on it. Roy curled up against the soft surface, letting out a pleased little hum when a big old quilt was tossed over him.

Just before he finally nodded off, Litchi leaned down to kiss him one last time, gently ruffling his hair.

“Sleep well, Roy. No matter what, I’ll be right here.”

For the first night in a long, long time, Roy Carmine slept peacefully.


End file.
